Angel

Life is a lesson.....love is the hardest.....everything has reason....has focus....has an explanation. No matter how deep you assess and analyze the meaning of love it holds no barriers, no realms of understanding....itself is an intoxicating mystery.

The hardest cross to bear is when you get it wrong. When your head and heart work against one another. Psychological out weights the physical and you choose a path. In hind sight the path was unnecessary at the time. However emotion clouds judgment and you feel something is needed, something is missing. And its only until you make that decision you realize the missing piece never existed it was created that very moment by you.

I realized this when we separated. You spent years deserving and eager of affection. I was too blind and arrogant to realize how much those intimate moments would destroy me. You have moved on now and you deserve it. Your heart was too full for me. I couldn't cope with your beauty both internally and externally. I am the other side of the world now....travels and experience have made me grow into the person I should have been for you......I was never a believer in fate or the universe.....over time I have grown to realise that something exists.....it may sound silly....but how life canput you in the most distant part of the world and a smell or a song can re-ignite the deepest of suppressed memories. And it does this for a reason. You are meant to remember, you are meant to grieve....I lost my best friend the day I left.....the way you looked at me with the tears magnifying your deep turquoise eyes. I will never forget that look.

You are in a better place....your thoughts and memories guide me through life as I continue existing.....you have become fictional......an Angel. Like you said we have a greater history than this life and if it means a century of loneliness I will meet you next time round and this time......I promise not to fart in bed!!!

Pudeman Willilaw