sought

the shoes were treacle, momentous. they enveloped me like the moment and, slowly, they dripped away to nothing. when the bear turned its back and left me to them I knew that I was safe. and I knew that I was lost. I pulled them on, but the action was desperate. like seeking to reclaim what is gone forever. which, in many ways, I was.
..

when I came again to the surface the scaly creature upon which I had arrived looked down at me with awe. or with distaste. he did not understand how one could dwell so much in the past. he had no memory for such things. he was always hungry. always seeking. it was his gift. he shook his head at my fading treasure and told me I should be content to live. I wondered what joy there was without some memory of it. he laughed and the sound filled my heart. he flew, and I on his back. we traversed worlds and kingdoms and I slept against a violent wind. he set me down in the land of my birth and rose again into his wind and my dreams.
..

I returned to the squirrels, who loved me. they chewed playfully at the soft green leather of my prize and I told them that the shoes were precious. they giggled at me, chittered. they pulled a sting of sequins from behind a chair. it glittered, golden. they jumped about me, draping it on my tail and with the pearls that hung around my neck. it stole my heart and played with it amongst the stars. they swum together through an eon of beauty and light. by and by they returned; so flushed and filled with joy that I cried for them.
..

and I can't see where I'm going. I keep falling into you and in love with you even when I don't know. especially when I don't know.
..

and that was when the squirrels came to me again. and shook me and chittered. and pulled me from my reverie and from the shoes that I had clung to. and they were so worn and faded that I did not feel them leave. and my feet were bare, but I could feel the grass beneath them. and I ran and laughed. and I felt Orpheus in the wind. and I sought you. but I never sought you.

jemibel