Another Night Alone

a voice never heard, perfume never smelt a smile never seen, touch never felt lips never tasted, a house not a home thoughts unknown, another night alone neck unkissed, skin un-caressed head never laid to rest on bare chest no white sundress, no beautiful scars covered beneath the sun, naked beneath the stars just photos examined until eyes blurred a million verses to find the right words a hundred letters, unsent, undelivered dark streets walked on feet cut & blistered no laughs shared, no woman, no man just unmade decisions, & unheld hands plans forever made but never happening being tied up, or endlessly unravelling promises spoken, broken with a whim
pointless forgiveness, loathsome victims nervously hugged strangers ask about you another night alone in a bed without you no yellow light over virgin flowers no silhouette body in the early hours no sleeping form to protect in the morning just floating, drowning, sinking without warning a wooden puppet held up by heartstrings of a fickle kite pulled by past winds pushed by doubts, missing someone not met too comfortable one day & amp; lost the next messages sent to unknown destinations premature ends to nothing conversations longing & wanting & constant frustration trying & failing & loss of patience

fantasies kept in shameful guilt
gardens quickly built, slowly wilt
truth & lies shown in awkward art
another night alone, falling apart
fast to believe, deliberately mislead
going too far, getting over your head
gifts never held against beating heart
another night alone in secretive dark
out of sight, never out of mind
losing what you were about to find
faking control & breaking its hold
another night alone, taking a toll
present lost in wandering dances
future found in squandered chances
silent voices, unconnected phone
nobody to own, another night alone

Crixus