I
Tonight as I walked
Through throngs of Christmas shoppers
I felt my heart turn over.
You were at my side again
For just a moment.
You had my hand enfolded close in yours
And stopped me as we walked,
Turning me to face you,
Drawing me into your arms
As you always did,
Heedless of the humming crowd
And sidelong glances.
You drew me to your soul's embrace.
And for just a fleeting moment
We defied the stones of death,
And my poor heart turned over.
II
Holy night,
Night of love and candle light.
An age ago
I crawled into the warmth and comfort
Of our bed,
And curled my chilly body into yours,
Yielding and alive
With welcome.
The hymns of wonder
Ringing in my head,
Children bedded in snug anticipation.
Stars and moon,
Love and tomorrow,
You and I.
But tonight,
Holy night again,
My bed is cold and empty.
Ashes now, my other self,
And my soul cut in half.
Somewhere, in the morning's promise,
I will hear your voice and know
That dreams can fill our waking hours.
And with an insubstantial touch
My heart will swell again
With love for you,
And draw you home
Into the sweet remembrances
That keep me sane.
III
My life goes on,
Morning to morning,
Month to month.
A year has passed
Since my soul's anchor
Slipped from the chain,
And sank without a trace
Beneath a foam of pain and misery.
My ship moves on,
Riding out the troughs and swells
That toss my heart
From day to day,
And through the lonely nights.
A little boat,
Riding high and hopeful
patriciabuon
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