I brush my own teeth

You threw it in the basket without really saying anything, not for a moment anyway. On top of the canned tomatoes, fresh basil and chorizo lay the toothbrush. We were at the supermarket buying the ingredients for pasta. Now evidently we were doing more than that.


'For your house, when I stay over' you said. We headed to isle seven, where we picked up some fettuccini.

Now during my morning ablutions our toothbrushes strike me as otherworldly and more profound than what they really are. The two brushes together, standing there in the pint glass next to the hot water tap on the sink. Hers red, mine blue.

I find them in the strangest positions. Each position I see as a message of significance.

One morning I found the brushes crossed at the base of the glass, their bristly ends about as far away from each other as is possible but touching at their base. That is the important thing, the touching, like lying in bed and just touching each other's feet, to know we are still there, that's what it reminds me of.

Another morning I found the two brushes facing, their bristles interwoven and gently touching, resting on each other for support, as if in deep, intimate discussion. I don't disturb them some mornings.

One time I found them lying parallel, basically up against one another but facing in the same direction. Not like something had caught their attention but in a position of intimacy, you have to really trust someone to let them be that close to you without worrying about what they are doing.

When I brush my own teeth and leave just your brush in the pint glass, well, it makes me sort of uncomfortable, like I've abandoned you and left you all alone. It's just a brush, but it makes me sad. And like you said, this is an opportunity for me to be selfish for once in my life, but I'm disinclined to invest in something so flimsy and inconsequential as myself when I could be involved in something bigger, like something that I feel is made of bricks and mortar, because I'm just a pile of kindling without love.

Your toothbrush is still here. I can never bring myself to throw anything away.

S.T.Pearse